Beating Back the Beast - Three weeks, two days.

It has been one week and one day since I last ate chocolate. I have been trialling different fruits in an attempt to give myself the energy I need to train. Some days are just harder than others. I have to admit the Beast has a way of playing with my ability to think and function at times at anywhere near my normal level. Nothing more awkward when I am trying to have a conversation with someone and my line of thought is whipped away because something else has caught my eye.

Talking to parents today who had brought their wee girl to class for the first time and watching the Sampei's take class. Constantly distracted by things happening in class. After my busy week last week the Beast is biting back. Loss of concentration and that connective tissue is nagging again. Days like this my commitment to this cause falters a little. I am still on track but combine lack of concentration with pain and you have a great recipe for shutdown. Thank goodness for class and the responsibility to fulfill commitments.

I also almost caved in and had chocolate. That fix to get me through the classes. But the thought of having gone through this week for nothing kept me on track. I could not face having to go through this last week all over again.

I have no appetite for food tonight so I think it will just be a couple of paleo sausages for me tonight. Not a balanced meal but I have no energy left to make a salad or to cook.

Tomorrow..... I hear you Scarlett...Tomorrow!

Beating Back the Beast - Three weeks, one day

It's all about your training partners!

Motivation was low today. It was run day and I really wasn't feeling it. Finally after much procrastination I put on my running clothes. Poet was ecstatic the hounds also keen to get going. I had to un-rug the horse first, the hounds enthusiasm as they waited impatiently sadly was not contagious but it did bolster my commitment to the run.

Leads on everyone and we headed off, even my 13 year old Irish Wolfhound was more enthusiastic than I was. She had a grin splashed across her face and the joy of a simple walk was lighting her eyes. If this wonderful old being could find such joy in her exercise no matter her old joints and stiff back then I too would find my joy.

Walking across the paddock the birds were singing and the sun was warm. It was one of the most perfect spring days you could ever witness. How could I remain so reluctant to be out here. Once through the gate and into the forest I released the hounds and waited for Millie to catch up. She may find joy in her walks but she is infinitely slower than she used to be.  While waiting I had to catch a video and some shots of the others as they took in the beauty of the day.

Turning on my run mapper I let Millie through the gate and set off, determined that today I would try and run more than walk. I did approximate a run more than I walked but I would have to say that the shuffle I was reduced to at times was closer to a nana shuffle than a run. But I persevered and plugged on.

There is definitely still something I am reacting to in my diet as my sinuses were not playing ball as I tried to concentrate on my breathing. I still need to be looking at the different fruits I am trying. Thought I may have had it yesterday as I had much less angioedema this morning.

The little dogs ducked and dived around me as I ran almost tripping me several times but their sheer joy at being out with me kept me focused on the run.

2.1km today in 17.36 minutes. I shaved a whole 14 seconds off last weeks time. Sigh! I will do better.

The benefit to my soul out weighed the benefits to my fitness today. This was truly a beautiful day to be alive and beating back the Beast.

Beating Back The Beast - week two , day six

Still chocolate continues to haunt me. I was sitting getting my hair done today at the salon when, I was getting hungry as it neared lunchtime and what should come on the radio but an advert for Whittaker's chocolate. If it had been a Cadbury ad I could have blank it out, but no it was a Whittaker's ad! the chocolate of the gods! The salon is two stores down from the Four Square ( mini mart) one of my local chocolate dealers.

When I left the salon the pull of the dealer was strong in me. I almost turned to my left, almost! My head did turn and my stomach rumbled but my feet beat a hasty path to my vehicle. Quickly I let myself in and started the engine, as I drove past the store I steadfastly held my gaze on the road not daring to glance sideways in case my hands turned the truck back to the curb in front of the dealer.

I made it home, crisis averted.

But we have my mother in law staying for a few days and it was roast night, so my daughter brought home a bottle of wine. Not just any wine but my favourite wine.

Wine is not Chocolate!

Wine was drunk.

I know this is bad but it was not chocolate. This can be stopped after one glass, chocolate cannot. Except tomorrow night we celebrate my daughters new job......so perhaps another glass! But at least it's not chocolate.

Today's work out as follows;
100 punches with 2kg dumbells
30 situps
25 squats w/ 2kg dumbells
50 calf raises w/ 2kg dumbells
20 sprawls
25 bicep curls w/ 2kg dumbells
20 shoulder-flys w/2kg dumbells
1 minute plank.

Workout was perhaps too light but I am taking care of the elbow and  knee at present. Hopefully soon the inflammation will abate and I can push the workouts up.

Roast lamb, kumara and salad.

The effects of a small glass of wine when one no longer drinks much.

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, five days

On tonight's episode of Master Puke NZ we have the culinary delight of beef patties served with a salad of Cabbage, Silver Beet (Chard) Italian Parsely and Chives.

Food is frigging fuel!

Today was grocery shopping day. Today made me grumpy about food, mainly because there is hardly an aisle in the store that does not contain chocolate in some form or another. Sadly the family has to eat and I have to shop for them, and everywhere I go I have chocolate shoved under my nose! To top it off the super market had the chocolate gods, The Whittaker's, chocolate on special. Front and centre was the fruit and nut bar............sigh.

I can only imagine the looks I was getting as I gazed longingly at the display as I slowly pushed my shopping trolley past in true Bridget Jones fashion. I can only imagine those looks because my attention was riveted firmly on those bars that were calling my name. How I avoided mowing down old ladies and little children is somewhat of a minor miracle. Perhaps I should not be allowed in charge of a trolley until I am past this stage of my withdrawals.

I stood firm though and that is thanks to you my readers. I didn't want to let you all down. I am a third degree black belt for goodness sake, I need to have self discipline. I have many times pulled this statement out to save myself. Whether it be from chocolate or to drag my sorry butt out of bed and through my days. To get the livestock fed and to take care of my chores. Many times I have berated myself that I am a black belt, harden up and prove it. It almost always works without fail. Thank goodness for that little reminder to my psyche that I am made of sterner stuff than the Beast. 

So thank you everyone for your support you saved me today when I might have faltered. Pulled me back from the metaphorical edge, albeit grumpily.

Today I hate my food more than ever! Especially after the torture of shopping and having a guest in the house, cooking yummy food for them while I ate the Master Puke offering. Food is fuel!!!!!

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, four days

I love learning, I try to learn something new every day. The beast also likes learning and tries to show me new ways it can mess with me on a regular basis. Sometimes my learning coincides with some new thing the Beast is showing off.

Since the beginning of the year I have had this problem with swelling around my eyes and lips. When I stopped chocolate for those three months this settled a little but would still flare up. Sometimes so badly I would only go out with my sunglasses on. Scared I would frighten little children and increase the cardiac incidents in my local area!

I happened to be reading an article about a blood pressure drug the other day and it listed one of the side effects as Angioedema. Apparently similar to hives. Well we have been down the hives path and apparently I have not listened well enough to the Beast and it has changed things up on me. I ate fruit yesterday instead of chocolate. Surprise!!! I woke up this morning looking like I had done several rounds with Joseph Parker! NZ's latest boxing protege for those who don't know him.

Yay me !

So this led me to look up Angioedema to see whether this was what I am suffering from. Seems most likely it is ...

Angioedema- 

Hives are often called welts. They are a surface swelling. It is possible to have angioedema without hives.

causes are

Angioedema may be caused by an allergic reaction. During the reaction, histamine and other chemicals are released into the bloodstream. The body releases histamine when the immune system detects a foreign substance called an allergen.

I am fairly certain this was caused by blackcurrant and apple fruit snacks. All natural, no cane sugar, just fruit. BUT.......

Picking my way through this thing is like walking a mine field. Takes balls and bloody mindedness but I will beat this Beast. I WILL!

Tonight was stairs night, no arm work but my whole body was feeling the after effects of the reaction to that fruit. Sigh .....tomorrow.

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, three day

No Chocolate! Two days without chocolate. I not feeling any different yet. Maybe in a few more days. Still want chocolate, still wanting to gnaw my arm off in lieu of chocolate. But I have resisted. I am hoping the shift away from chocolate again will help the inflammation in my tendons. My right arm is particularly bad at them moment and I am trying hard to limit the damage. Trouble is I do not want to stop training and the gardens at this time of the year need many hours of work. So I have to get inventive about the things I am doing.

Today's workout was an ab workout added to around three hours spent in the garden. No mean feat gardening around here. The wilderness has been beaten back a little today and weather permitting maybe some more this week. Back to training tomorrow night after a public holiday yesterday. Will have to make the class a good one to make up for the day off. Also will have to start thinking of some challenging exercises that do not involve arm work.

Chicken and salad again for dinner tonight. Food is fuel....food is fuel.... if I repeat it enough times I may just convince myself.

Beating Back the Beast - two weeks two days

Today was a win !! I did not eat chocolate! As a hardened chocoholic that is quite an accomplishment, I do however want to eat my own arm off!

Why is it so hard to forgo the creamy, brown delicacy that is chocolate. It disguises itself as the elixir of life. We find it irresistible. We give it as tokens of our love and gratitude yet it is an insidious monster. Looking all harmless and inviting it tempts us to taste it, calls to us with a voice only we can hear but once it passes our lips it's true identity is revealed and it feeds the Beast within  us.

So today was a win I did not partake of this temptress, the Pied Piper of the Beast. I did not let it pass my lips.

I have an admission to make for the first three and a half months of this year I did not let the temptress lure me but I stumbled to my demise around Easter time. You see Whittaker's makers of the finest chocolate this country produces pulled out all stops to bring me back into the fold. For the first time they made Easter eggs and not just any old Easter eggs, these tasty tempters were in the shape of a kiwi with it's egg. How could I resist. the Pied Piper had found my weakness, the thing I had always wanted most at Easter, chocolate in the egg form from the chocolate gods, the Whittaker's.

I bought one and hid it in my wardrobe. I would let it sit and wait for my birthday that was a few weeks later. Perhaps by then I would have forgotten it was there. FAT CHANCE! That bloody egg called to me every day to remind me it was there. The Pied Piper's flute was loud and insistent, come the 23rd of the month I flung open that door and ripped into the foil guarding my treasure from me. I scoffed that thing in seconds!

Since then I have managed a few days at most to resist the temptress. So today, a day without chocolate is a big thing. It is a day of strength when my body is not feeling so strong. But the biting of the Beast in the tendons of my arms fortified my resistance. The stab of pain in my hamstrings reminded me to turn away from the Piper. I didn't train today but I did a lot of yard work. I did not train today but it was still a win to me!

Today the beast goes hungry!

Chicken salad for dinner.

Beating back the Beast - two weeks, one day

This weekend has been all about my writing and my books. Two days at a writing seminar and then today I have been out at a local heritage park reading to the kids and hoping to sell a few copies of Battle For Arohanui and Little Bridie Boo the Puppy Who Grew..

It really is about making connections when you are in this game and today in little old Ashburton I made a few. I spent the day in the company of the gorgeous Princess Bridie, who although  her usual sweet and gentle self is a little too royal to enjoy the paparazzi and throngs of admirers that her mother adores. She was tolerant of the attention but didn't thrive on it as Millie does. I told her if she is going to be the star of her own books she will have to, 'Suck it up Princess.' I was given The Look for that one.

We garnered the attention of several people today, a reporter from one of the local newspapers and a book reviewer and also the local Rotary club, I can only hope that something comes from these connections made today. With all the setting up and taking down of our stall as well as the days interactions I have to admit to being shattered by the time I got home. So today's workout consisted of 20 wide pushups, twenty martial arts pushups, 10 triangle pushups, 20 sit-ups and 20 squats. A pathetic attempt but at least I did something.

Scarlet is that you I hear? ....tomorrow.....

I did see this quote today from Elizabeth Taylor and it struck a chord with me....

You just do it.
You force yourself to get up.
You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and god damn it, you refuse to let it get to you.
You fight.
You cry.
You curse.
Then you go about the business of living.
That's how I have done it.
There's no other way.

The beautiful Princess Bridie my companion for the day.

Beating Back the Beast - two weeks

My run mapper asked me to describe my run today, I gave it a one word rating......horrible. I had spent the day at a writing seminar and when I got home really wasn't feeling up to training at all. It's crazy but the Beast likes to mess with my head. You would think  sitting around doing nothing physical at all would be like a rest for the body wouldn't you? Not with the Beast playing its games it's not.

I had to cross my legs today to manage to write in my notebook. You know how you cross your legs and push up on your tip toes so you don't have to hunch over? Or is that just me? Anyway all that l;eg crossing and tip toeing left my knees swollen and sore to touch and my feet aching. Ridiculous I know but that is the way of the Beast. Even if you give it no reason to bite it will strike anyway.

Running seemed like an onerous chore by the time I got home, but I committed to this thing so there is no backing out. I managed to do a 2 k run walk and shaved around 20 secs per k off the run compared with last week. Not as much as I had hoped to do but I suppose if I factor in the condition of my  knees and feet plus the fatigue that was threatening to drown me
it was a reasonable effort.

Tonights effort for dinner was roast chicken with coleslaw and roast kumara, mmmmm I love roast night and although the kumara may have some negative side effects it does leave me feeling satisfied after my meal.

Bring on week 3

Beating Back The Beast - one Week 6 days

I have spent the evening feeding the mind, as essential as feeding the body. I attended a writing seminar given by Brian Turner a NZ Poet Laureate, as famous as his sporting brothers Glen and Greg. Brian calls himself a politiacal animal and suggests it is up to us a writers to ask questions, I pondered this on my long drive home.

Here is my question. Why do we the people let traditional medicine continue to peddle the poison's of the pharmaceutical companies upon us? Why do we allow governments and bureaucracy to tell us we must follow blindly and take their drugs and their toxins into our bodies?

It is my understanding autoimmune disease begins in the gut. I have done a lot of research over the years and it always leads me back to this understanding. The seat of the immune system is the gut. So why are so many of us suffering from gut problems so serious they lead to our immune systems attacking our own bodies or failing all together?

In my case I feel strongly that antibiotics have played a huge part in the break down of my gut. I was a child who suffered many chest and throat infections. With the knowledge I have now I am certain it was caused by intolerance to dairy products. Back then though Dr's were gods! No mother should have the temerity to question the word of the Dr. So they pushed antibiotics down my throat and into my sensitive gut instead of looking for the cause of my respiratory problems.

Finally my gut gave up the fight and I was left with the Beast. A beast that would destroy its own host given half a chance. Would a traditional Dr listen to my concerns? Would a traditional Dr answer my questions honestly?

Brian it seems I have a lot of questions but for the most part they would appear to be rhetorical, for I already know the answers to them. I have been treated to the contempt and scorn of the traditional Dr for many years, for I have had the temerity to question them.

Perhaps my true question to them and the powers that be should actually be, when will you put the welfare of your people, your patients before the financial gains of the big machine? When will we matter more than the almighty dollar and power?

Perhaps these are things I should have  meditated on earlier when I was doing my stretch program. I will leave you with this thought. I do not believe it is just the writer who should be asking these questions. Whether it be our health or our environment we should all be asking the questions that need to be asked. We should all be looking to take responsibility for our part in it. For our health for our children's health.

Beating Back The Beast -one week five days

Did the Beast win?. I didn't train today but instead of conceding a win to the Beast I am taking today as a rest day, a day for the body to heal.

The Beast did have a play in my decision but I had already been concerned I had not had a rest day in over a week. It is crucial to allow the body a day off. For muscle tissue to be allowed to heal, so although I may have had a dodgy tummy today, and that may have been because I have not been consistent with my diet (something the Beast punishes me for severely) I am taking a rest day!

I need to be more consistent with my nutrition but the thing is I hate cooking. I used to love to bake but that is now off the table. I have never really enjoyed cooking, and the fact that the foods I now get to eat are not even close to being on my favourite lists of foods doesn't help. I have actually come to the sad conclusion if it tastes like poop then it will be good for me, if it tastes good and I really like it it's guaranteed to have an adverse reaction on my body. Terrible attitude but the Beast has taught me well with its punishing ways.

So I continue to hate my food and have an intense dislike for cooking. This is not helpful as I will take shortcuts and I will not eat properly to avoid my two pet hates. This leads to days like today. Sigh I am my own worst enemy. But today is a rest day and tomorrow Scarlet...tomorrow!

Kumara (sweet potato) Fries, cabbage, kale, spring onion coleslaw and Beef and pork patties.

Beating Back The Beast - one week four days

Sensei wins the day. I got my mojo back today though I also got back the small amount of weight I had lost since the weekend. I had dropped 800 grams, this morning I found it, sigh. My energy levels were up though and I got not only my jobs done but put in a short interval training in the late morning as well as doing class tonight.

 I know 'pride cometh before a fall' but I am quite proud of myself today. After the day I had yesterday to get two training's in at different times of the daywas a good confidence booster. It is also a good way to get the metabolism firing. The morning training was short but it was intense, we live on a river terrace so I did ten sprints up the bank with a walk back down to control my breathing and heart rate before heading back up again.

 I love interval training. It gives me intensity but allows me time to reset, to catch my breath and allows my muscles to relax a little before the next blast of power. My goal will be to build on this until I can head down to the only hill in the area and do hill sprints of around 50 mtres with a walk back down. I used this as part of my training for my black belt and it worked a charm. The first time I did it I managed 5 but built to twenty reps by the time my grading came around. It's going to be interesting to see how many I can do when I head down there for the first time. It better be more than 5!

Still having a hate/ hate relationship with food. I just wish it could be interesting and flavoursome, sigh. But it is what it is, and at the end of the day it is only fuel. Ha! I will keep telling myself that until I believe it.

Beating Back The Beast - one week/ three days

 The beast has pulled down the veil and I am seeing the world through a movie lens, not quite connected to what is happening around me. I hate days like this the most I think. Days when the beast steals my connection to the world. I know it is the beast's way of punishing me for overdoing things but I will not be held down. I still got through my list of jobs for the day and I also did a very brief core workout.

Mabel my training partner this evening was not much help, she felt I really should be taking the day off, She may be right. She kept trying to convince me that playing wold be much more fun than working out. We compromised and did a little of both. Today I think is a draw. Beast 0 - Sensei Amanda 0

Scarlet's words echo in my head again. Tomorrow.........

I was also reminded today by a friend to look into my supplements, especially magnesium malate. I will also replenish my supply of selenium. Both of these minerals are very good for muscles and connective tissue. Perhaps with a little support from these I will be able to push forward a little more.

Onward and upward :)

Beating Back the Beast - one week two days.

The beast bit back a little today, probably not as harshly as I thought it would but bite it did. The connective tissue around my sacrum and my hips, knees, shoulders and elbows has been inflamed and painful all day. Not much sleep for the tossing and turning and a slow start into the day. A good reason to get stuck into some book work.

Monday is training night so I rocked up to class wondering just how things would go. Decided we would have an ab and ground technique night. Some of my joints screamed but I managed to push through. Surprisingly it was my left shoulder that threw the biggest hissy fit and yet it had not shown many signs of a struggle throughout the day.

All in all a successful day, I find it is easier to push the core workouts on days when my energy levels are low and the body is sore. Running today would have been impossible but there are ways around the beast.

Before I leave tonight I want to ask everyone to keep my friend Toni in their thoughts. She was the wonderful owner of one of my dogs from my last Irish Wolfhound  litter, Murphy Brown. He passed away suddenly today and his lost is felt keenly by those who knew his beautiful loving nature. Godspeed Murphy!

Beating Back the Beast - one week - one day

Today was a good day, though I have to admit it was a struggle to wake up and get going. Mornings are especially hard with Hashi's, the Beast doesn't like to stir early and even if I have the temerity to get up I often seem to be on pause until around lunch time. Today was different.

Today I dragged myself out of my bed and dressed in my running clothes, forgoing breakfast I headed out to run. I had downloaded an app to the phone and was keen to give it a whirl. I was only going to take the two smallest dogs with me but Cooper begged to come, this woke the Queen who also demanded to come. I informed her I was going to run not walk and she may prefer to stay home. She disagreed. I then informed her she would have to do her own thing at the forest and she assured me that would be just fine with her.

For those of you who have not met the Queen she is a 13 year old Irish Wolfhound of a very determined nature. What the Queen wants the Queen gets. The walk over to the forest was more of a dawdle than anything as we encouraged the Queen to keep up. Cooper would have left her behind but I know better. So my new app was recording some very slow walking on my behalf though I could offer this as an excuse for my poor times I will not.In my defense I am walking running at this stage but even then I feel my times were rather pathetic. Oh well I can only improve.

3.1km in 29 minutes. 9.20 min/km

One good point is it shouldn't be too hard to improve on it, lol. Returning home my muscles were a little tight so I was sure to do a stretch workout as well. Finally breakfast though it was more brunch by this time. Still feeling good later in the day after my chores I got stuck back into those bricks. I am dreading what the beast has lined up for me tomorrow. I fear I may have poked it a little hard with a stick today, it never likes to see me over achieving.

On the food front, no chocolate today and just a little fruit. I made some meat patties last night and decided to trial some tapioca flour in them. Not too severe a reaction to it but blech they tasted disgusting and the texture was just plain gross. I won't do that again in a hurry. Another lesson learned.

Impossible to resist this face and look how happy she was that she got to come.

Beating back the beast - one week today

A week has passed since I set my goal. This week has seen steady gains in my training. The fact  my body has not given up on me this week is encouraging. I started out the week experiencing muscle tie up the day after my training's. Lactic acid build up in almost every muscle of my body but by the middle of the week this seemed to settle down. The stretch program is definitely making a huge difference. All in all a good week.

By increasing my core work I am finding I am standing taller and slouching less. It really doesn't take long to notice a difference in how you feel when you concentrate on getting some core work in everyday. It makes me feel stronger and fitter. This I know is an illusion but self delusion helps to motivate me, lol. I walk taller, feel better about myself and in doing so it increases my resolve to stick to the AIP protocol.

Today was indeed another day and I have so far beaten the sugar beast, cut my intake back to about a third of what is was yesterday, YAY. Now where's that chocolate bar so I can celebrate! Ha just kidding.

My work out today was a practical one. Another project I have set myself is to build a raised garden with a wee courtyard at its centre.  I am trying to do this project with as little financial investment as possible, recycling and doing the hard graft to pull it all together. The bricks I collected from the buy, sell, exchange for free, all need to be cleaned before they can be used again.

Today I made a good dent in the pile of red bricks. I had previously cleaned the cinder-blocks but this had caused a flare up in the ulnar nerve/tendons of my forearm.. One of the problems I risk in pushing through the pain is that I cause serious inflammation that will take months to dissipate. This meant that when I noticed the pain flaring up I had to quit for the day but it was satisfying to make head way on my project and use it as part of my fitness program. Also got the paddocks mucked out and had a short walk. It was such a gorgeous spring day today, life is good!

My physical activity has increased a lot this week and I am coping with it well.

Week one -  Sensei Amanda 1                     The Beast 0

before

after

What a difference a day makes. Gorgeous spring sunshine

Beating Back the Beast - Day 6

My plans for a run were scuppered today by the weather. The day dawned wet and cold! Now you may say don't be such a princess it's only a little rain, and I too would say that to anyone of normal health but I have learned the hard way what may seem a simple thing to others is not always the case for the immune compromised.

My problem with the wet and cold started a few winters back. I was feeding out to the stock in the freezing rain, my legs and hands got quite wet and very cold. I thought it would be a grand idea to have a hot shower to thaw myself out. This proved to be a learning opportunity for me. I learned that extreme temperature changes can bring on hives and not just any hives but hives so big my knees swelled to three times their normal size.

I was still seeing my "GP" back then and she informed me of what had happened and gave me steroids to control it. What she didn't tell me was that the steroids came with side effects. Which for someone who has a history of allergies etc may have been a red flag. Suffice it to say I chucked the steroids away when my heart rate went all over the place and a whole lot of other icky side effects kicked in. I suffered through the hives for some time until they finally went away. Lesson learned.

So a run today was out of the question, instead I did another circuit. I have to admit that by doing circuits the switch of muscle groups at each station allows me to workout for longer. It is not so much my fitness nor my determination that holds me back but the muscle fatigue that sees my muscles just quit working when they have to work for more than a few minutes at a time. By changing up the muscle groups I am able to get an effective workout and my energy levels actually increase.

On the sugar front......massive fail....in the words of Scarlet O'Hara - tomorrow, tomorrow is another day!

Beating Back the Beast - Day 5

I'm not sure what I did differently yesterday but the beast has been rather subdued today. Something about my workout last night or maybe the fact I only ate a little salad for dinner, had me buzzing last night. So much so I couldn't get to sleep. This is abnormal for me to say the least, usually it is a matter of staying awake that is the issue, I enjoyed the extra energy. I am going to trial this salad in the evening thing and see what results I get. Not every evening but that should give me a better indicator as to whether it was the salad or just an anomaly that gave me all of the energy.

This morning though, it was hard to get out of bed after not getting to sleep until late, but once up and into it I was ecstatic to realise my body was not crippled with pain as it had been all week. Yes I had a few tight muscles from my previous nights work out but that was to be expected. The rest of my body was surprisingly loose. 

My workout today was again my stretch program and also a short walk with several of the dogs. I got the boys out for another walk to keep their minds off the girls who are still wearing their inappropriate perfume. Lovely now to be out on a beautiful spring evening. Today's video is just a break-fall, I'm just happy to be able to do one and get back up.

Beating Back the Beast - day 4

The Beast is angry!!!! I am not sure if there is one muscle or connective tissue in my body that isn't screaming at me today. Apparently the Beast will not be beaten back easily, but am I going to give up? HELL NO! You have had your time Beast it is my time again now. I am not listening to you. I am making plans, I am going to get my life back again. You can have your tantrums and you can throw your worst at me, I am sure you intend to anyway but I also will not be beaten back down. I am taking back my life. I can be just as bloody minded as you can be.

I did'nt work out during the day today, I know my limits but I did work out. Today was class so my workout was in class. I struggled through reps but I beat the Beast to complete two 7 minute circuits. I was proud of my full minute plank, as I haven't done one for some time. There are always little wins along the way, that was mine for today.

Also have been making some decisions on the career front and was discussing with a friend how I would love to make a living writing. She is a writer/editor she told me to just do it, sounds easy, lol . Not long after talking with her I checked my emails to see the NZ Society of Authors is having a seminar in two weeks. Guess who has signed up for it. Now to jump back into the battle of finding food I can take with me that will feed my brain and not my Hashi's. The struggle is real. I will win this one too.

My video today is from one of the stations on the circuit tonight.

Beating Back the Beast - day 3

Day three did not get off to an auspicious start. Sleep had been patchy thanks to the inflammation that took its grip of my body during the dark hours before dawn. Everything ached and I could not lie in one position for long at all. This was not helped by Monsieur Clawed the resident Birman cat who kept coming to check on me and tickling my face with his whiskers. When he wasn't sleeping on my feet intensifying the pain and discomfort.

With the Beast fighting back with all it had I decided to make today a stretch day. I have a program I use that covers every muscle group and takes around an hour. A work out in itself but at the end you feel like you have had a massage, mmmmm just what my body needed. I still found it hard to actually commit to this until late afternoon but wished I had done it earlier after I had completed it. I feel so much better now.

I suppose today would be as good a day as any to give you a little insight into why at this moment in time I am proceeding with my battle against Hashimoto's without the help of the medical profession. As I said from the outset I have had this condition since I was in my very early twenty's. It took until I was 45 for anyone to actually test me for Hashi's and to come up with a diagnosis for me. This was not my primary health care Dr, but an integrated Dr I began seeing who I had heard worked with people with my symptoms.

She ran a whole raft of tests on me and discovered my thyroid antibodies were over 2600. I did some research,  they are supposed to be between 0 and 50. This was not looking good. I will not go into all the treatment I received  as I just want to explain why I have no Dr at this point in time. The treatment I received though was not very successful but I feel that is because the Dr wanted me to broaden my diet. I was eating dairy at this time. Things really did not improve at all.

At one point this Dr, in an effort to save me money told me to go to my GP( Primary healthcare Dr) to have scripts renewed as it was costing me a lot every time I had to see her. My GP had been kept apprised of everything that was being done. To my regret I followed her advice. My GP was not in anyway supportive of the fact I had sought help elsewhere and was more interested in defending the fact she had never tested me for this condition. She kept saying it should not have been tested for because my thyroid levels were within the normal range.

Ummmm 'Hello', It was tested for and discovered that I do in fact have high levels of antibodies. I have a problem. I was very low that day, very low! I sat in her office and had her talk down to me and tell me firstly I should not have been tested and secondly that I should not be on the natural hormone as it was dangerous! This told me all I needed to know about her level of understanding of this disease. I apparently knew more than she did. I almost begged her that day to help me. She said she would be writing to the Thyroid Clinic on my behalf. I left feeling a little better about her, thinking maybe she was on my side after all.  I really am a naive soul.

Some weeks later I received a phone call from the integrated Dr who had been treating me. Apparently my GP had written to the Thyroid clinic just as she had said she would. What she wrote was that she believed in this country they do not treat Hashimoto's and she felt the drugs I had been given were dangerous and should not be prescribed. The integrated Dr now wanted to step away from my case. I could hear in her voice she was concerned for her career. This left me with the option of going back to my GP, who by her own admission would not treat me.

For the last three years I have not seen a Dr. I was very ill with the flu last year but could not bring myself to go to a health care professional, and I use that term loosely who refused to treat the condition that plagues my life. I received a letter from her clinic the other day stating I had not seen the Dr in three years did I want to remain on their books or had I found another Dr. WOW! I still cannot find a way to talk with these people civilly so have not informed them that I no longer have a Dr or more correctly one who gives a damn about my health. I guess I will have to pick up that pen one day and get my records sent here to me.

I don't have a photo from today so will post another video from last night

Beating Back The Beast - day 2

I have a confession to make. Over the weekend I did not manage to curb the sugar intake. Because of this my muscles are now screaming at me. Today I have pulled back on the sugar but have not gone cold turkey. I know very well if I do it will create a crash and I will turn into the monster from hell, if, that is I am not completely crashed out and sleeping. I more than halved my intake of sugar today and will cut back further tomorrow.

On the training side of things I did not run today. Another thing I have learned over the years is the Beast will punish me if I repeat train the same muscles on a daily basis. Already my calf muscles are knotting, so I am mixing up my workouts. Today we were back at class after the holidays so it was a boxing and a core workout today. Love putting on the gloves and doing boxing drills.

Something I do not love though is seeing myself on video, especially when I have been in the grip of the beast for so long.  I am heavy at the moment and hopefully I can change that. It is not something that sits well with me. I am used to being fit, okay I never had a six pack but I was happy in my skin. Today I am not happy in my skin. This has to change. Onward and upward.

Beating Back the Beast - day one

The alarm went this morning and I gave a silent groan. It was only degrees 3C outside and my bed was so warm. One of the nasty little tricks the beast plays on the body is to lower the core temperature. So morning temperatures in the midst of a flare up are around 35C about 2.5 degrees below normal. So the sufferer of Hashimoto's is almost always cold. One of the things that drives my husband mad is that I will be wearing my puffer jacket in 24C while everyone else is in shorts and t-shirts. Suffice it to say it is extremely hard to drag my sorry butt out of bed when the temperature outside is below 10C.

But I did drag myself from my bed and I swapped my fleecey P.J's for my lightweight training clothes. I did my usual karate loosen up and then I grabbed my running partners and headed out to the forest. Now my partners were not all that willing. They wanted to stay at the house, why? Because of the cold? No....because they are male hounds and the female hounds of the house are wearing their wonderful perfume the stuff that drives the boys wild. Finally I was able to convince them that a brisk run in the  morning air was just what the needed to work off their frustrations.

As we walked over to the forest the beast  reminded me of its presence. My joints ached and quite a few muscles called out their discomfort. I pushed back at the beast and told it these little things would not
stop me.

Together my partners and I walked and ran 1.6 k's this morning in the frigid air. My hands only just thawing out as I made my walk back across the paddock to house. I was definitely walking slower on the walk back. The last two runs were not much more than shuffling but I had survived it. I had beaten the beast today.

The boys on the other hand were moving much faster on their trip back to the house and their lovely smelling ladies. I did a silent eye roll and wished for their energy and enthusiasm.

Fighting back at 50 and beating back the Beast!

On the twenty third of April 2017 I will reach the inauspicious milestone of fifty. As someone who has always looked to challenges and goals to motivate myself I have been finding this milestone a particularly troublesome one. You see not only am I turning fifty but I am also clocking up nearly thirty years with the auto immune disorder Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and for the last five years I have been struggling to win the daily battle with my monster.

I realise I have to go completely AIP (Auto Immune Paleo) with my diet if I am to conquer this beast but I have struggled to find a goal to give me the day to day motivation to beat it down and stick to this gruelling protocol.

 Today I may have found my new challenge.

The last time I beat this beast into submission was when I wanted to attain my black belt in martial arts. I became very strict on my diet and worked through the daily pain and fatigue to attain my goals. Not only did
I reach my goals but my life became enriched by beating back the beast. I was able for the first time in over 15 years to participate in life and not just watch it go by without me.If there is one thing Hashimoto's will do it is to rob you of life and the ability to enjoy it. It steals your joy. I had taken back my joy.

In September of 2010 Canterbury was struck by the first of many large earthquakes. At the time I pushed through, I denied the stress I was under and I self medicated with chocolate and dairy products to help me combat the constant stress and anxiety the quakes invoked. In doing so I gave Hashimoto's all the ingredients it needed to insidiously take back control of my life and to put me in a permanent state of limbo once more.

I tried to fight back but the harder I fought the more my stress levels rose and the further I slipped back into the beasts grip. Then came the procrastination and the giving into the pain and the fatigue. It was all becoming too hard again. I was now writing and working on book projects, this allowed for me to sit at a computer and to excuse my lack of activity.

I struggled through teaching at my club and dragged myself through every class, physically and mentally. I wanted it to change but could not see past the pain. Another of the physical difficulties I face with the beast is I cannot do anything for more than a few reps. I can never truly even sit still as my muscles and joints will ache and scream at me if they are positioned in one place for too long. So I was beginning to lose hope of ever conquering the beast again.

This year though I discovered the AIP protocol and have had some success. Dairy is gone again and OMG how much better my body feels. I have more stamina but sugar has to go too. This one is a tough one, this is my addiction. This is my shame! I know that I should be stronger than this mentally but when my blood sugars crash and I want to tear the head of the first person who enters my vicinity I find it is more pleasant for every one if I am "medicated" with sugar.

Today I have found my challenge.

I have found the goal to motivate me, to get me through the turning fifty blues. I marshalled today at the Salmon Run. It is an relatively new event. There are several different event categories you can choose from to challenge you and take you outside your comfort zone. I marshalled on the long run which also took in the Duathlon and Multi sport competitors. I watched people of all abilities and ages run past me, from the uber competitive athletes to the people of much more advanced age than I. Instead of feeling resentful that the beast had held me down I felt inspired to once more tame it, beat it down and ride it to the finish line.

So here is my fighting fit at fifty challenge I am throwing down to myself. I am going to train for the next twelve months for this event. I know the beast is going to try and thwart me and with that in mind I am not going to commit to the 13k race yet. I will train for it and will do everything in my power to beat the beast but if I should not be truly victorious over it by October next year, I will do the 6k race instead.

Follow my journey here, I am going to share with you the trials and the tribulations of my journey. As a Martial Arts coach my career has been spent motivating and inspiring others to achieve the best they can be. Here I want to inspire myself and others not to give up, to keep fighting back. We all face trials in our lives, it is what makes the journey an interesting one but sometimes we need inspiration, we need to see that others too struggle, fall down and pick themselves back up again.

I prefer my privacy but I know having you all here watching and supporting me I will have a much better chance of beating back the beast. I need any advantage I can get in my battle, I will fall and I
will most certainly gripe about it but if there is one thing Martial Art has given me, it is the tenacity to never give up while there is breath in my body.

Fighting back at 50 and beating back the Beast!