Beating Back the Beast - Three weeks, two days.

It has been one week and one day since I last ate chocolate. I have been trialling different fruits in an attempt to give myself the energy I need to train. Some days are just harder than others. I have to admit the Beast has a way of playing with my ability to think and function at times at anywhere near my normal level. Nothing more awkward when I am trying to have a conversation with someone and my line of thought is whipped away because something else has caught my eye.

Talking to parents today who had brought their wee girl to class for the first time and watching the Sampei's take class. Constantly distracted by things happening in class. After my busy week last week the Beast is biting back. Loss of concentration and that connective tissue is nagging again. Days like this my commitment to this cause falters a little. I am still on track but combine lack of concentration with pain and you have a great recipe for shutdown. Thank goodness for class and the responsibility to fulfill commitments.

I also almost caved in and had chocolate. That fix to get me through the classes. But the thought of having gone through this week for nothing kept me on track. I could not face having to go through this last week all over again.

I have no appetite for food tonight so I think it will just be a couple of paleo sausages for me tonight. Not a balanced meal but I have no energy left to make a salad or to cook.

Tomorrow..... I hear you Scarlett...Tomorrow!

Beating Back the Beast - Three weeks, one day

It's all about your training partners!

Motivation was low today. It was run day and I really wasn't feeling it. Finally after much procrastination I put on my running clothes. Poet was ecstatic the hounds also keen to get going. I had to un-rug the horse first, the hounds enthusiasm as they waited impatiently sadly was not contagious but it did bolster my commitment to the run.

Leads on everyone and we headed off, even my 13 year old Irish Wolfhound was more enthusiastic than I was. She had a grin splashed across her face and the joy of a simple walk was lighting her eyes. If this wonderful old being could find such joy in her exercise no matter her old joints and stiff back then I too would find my joy.

Walking across the paddock the birds were singing and the sun was warm. It was one of the most perfect spring days you could ever witness. How could I remain so reluctant to be out here. Once through the gate and into the forest I released the hounds and waited for Millie to catch up. She may find joy in her walks but she is infinitely slower than she used to be.  While waiting I had to catch a video and some shots of the others as they took in the beauty of the day.

Turning on my run mapper I let Millie through the gate and set off, determined that today I would try and run more than walk. I did approximate a run more than I walked but I would have to say that the shuffle I was reduced to at times was closer to a nana shuffle than a run. But I persevered and plugged on.

There is definitely still something I am reacting to in my diet as my sinuses were not playing ball as I tried to concentrate on my breathing. I still need to be looking at the different fruits I am trying. Thought I may have had it yesterday as I had much less angioedema this morning.

The little dogs ducked and dived around me as I ran almost tripping me several times but their sheer joy at being out with me kept me focused on the run.

2.1km today in 17.36 minutes. I shaved a whole 14 seconds off last weeks time. Sigh! I will do better.

The benefit to my soul out weighed the benefits to my fitness today. This was truly a beautiful day to be alive and beating back the Beast.

Beating Back The Beast - week two , day six

Still chocolate continues to haunt me. I was sitting getting my hair done today at the salon when, I was getting hungry as it neared lunchtime and what should come on the radio but an advert for Whittaker's chocolate. If it had been a Cadbury ad I could have blank it out, but no it was a Whittaker's ad! the chocolate of the gods! The salon is two stores down from the Four Square ( mini mart) one of my local chocolate dealers.

When I left the salon the pull of the dealer was strong in me. I almost turned to my left, almost! My head did turn and my stomach rumbled but my feet beat a hasty path to my vehicle. Quickly I let myself in and started the engine, as I drove past the store I steadfastly held my gaze on the road not daring to glance sideways in case my hands turned the truck back to the curb in front of the dealer.

I made it home, crisis averted.

But we have my mother in law staying for a few days and it was roast night, so my daughter brought home a bottle of wine. Not just any wine but my favourite wine.

Wine is not Chocolate!

Wine was drunk.

I know this is bad but it was not chocolate. This can be stopped after one glass, chocolate cannot. Except tomorrow night we celebrate my daughters new job......so perhaps another glass! But at least it's not chocolate.

Today's work out as follows;
100 punches with 2kg dumbells
30 situps
25 squats w/ 2kg dumbells
50 calf raises w/ 2kg dumbells
20 sprawls
25 bicep curls w/ 2kg dumbells
20 shoulder-flys w/2kg dumbells
1 minute plank.

Workout was perhaps too light but I am taking care of the elbow and  knee at present. Hopefully soon the inflammation will abate and I can push the workouts up.

Roast lamb, kumara and salad.

The effects of a small glass of wine when one no longer drinks much.

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, five days

On tonight's episode of Master Puke NZ we have the culinary delight of beef patties served with a salad of Cabbage, Silver Beet (Chard) Italian Parsely and Chives.

Food is frigging fuel!

Today was grocery shopping day. Today made me grumpy about food, mainly because there is hardly an aisle in the store that does not contain chocolate in some form or another. Sadly the family has to eat and I have to shop for them, and everywhere I go I have chocolate shoved under my nose! To top it off the super market had the chocolate gods, The Whittaker's, chocolate on special. Front and centre was the fruit and nut bar............sigh.

I can only imagine the looks I was getting as I gazed longingly at the display as I slowly pushed my shopping trolley past in true Bridget Jones fashion. I can only imagine those looks because my attention was riveted firmly on those bars that were calling my name. How I avoided mowing down old ladies and little children is somewhat of a minor miracle. Perhaps I should not be allowed in charge of a trolley until I am past this stage of my withdrawals.

I stood firm though and that is thanks to you my readers. I didn't want to let you all down. I am a third degree black belt for goodness sake, I need to have self discipline. I have many times pulled this statement out to save myself. Whether it be from chocolate or to drag my sorry butt out of bed and through my days. To get the livestock fed and to take care of my chores. Many times I have berated myself that I am a black belt, harden up and prove it. It almost always works without fail. Thank goodness for that little reminder to my psyche that I am made of sterner stuff than the Beast. 

So thank you everyone for your support you saved me today when I might have faltered. Pulled me back from the metaphorical edge, albeit grumpily.

Today I hate my food more than ever! Especially after the torture of shopping and having a guest in the house, cooking yummy food for them while I ate the Master Puke offering. Food is fuel!!!!!

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, four days

I love learning, I try to learn something new every day. The beast also likes learning and tries to show me new ways it can mess with me on a regular basis. Sometimes my learning coincides with some new thing the Beast is showing off.

Since the beginning of the year I have had this problem with swelling around my eyes and lips. When I stopped chocolate for those three months this settled a little but would still flare up. Sometimes so badly I would only go out with my sunglasses on. Scared I would frighten little children and increase the cardiac incidents in my local area!

I happened to be reading an article about a blood pressure drug the other day and it listed one of the side effects as Angioedema. Apparently similar to hives. Well we have been down the hives path and apparently I have not listened well enough to the Beast and it has changed things up on me. I ate fruit yesterday instead of chocolate. Surprise!!! I woke up this morning looking like I had done several rounds with Joseph Parker! NZ's latest boxing protege for those who don't know him.

Yay me !

So this led me to look up Angioedema to see whether this was what I am suffering from. Seems most likely it is ...

Angioedema- 

Hives are often called welts. They are a surface swelling. It is possible to have angioedema without hives.

causes are

Angioedema may be caused by an allergic reaction. During the reaction, histamine and other chemicals are released into the bloodstream. The body releases histamine when the immune system detects a foreign substance called an allergen.

I am fairly certain this was caused by blackcurrant and apple fruit snacks. All natural, no cane sugar, just fruit. BUT.......

Picking my way through this thing is like walking a mine field. Takes balls and bloody mindedness but I will beat this Beast. I WILL!

Tonight was stairs night, no arm work but my whole body was feeling the after effects of the reaction to that fruit. Sigh .....tomorrow.

Beating Back The Beast - two weeks, three day

No Chocolate! Two days without chocolate. I not feeling any different yet. Maybe in a few more days. Still want chocolate, still wanting to gnaw my arm off in lieu of chocolate. But I have resisted. I am hoping the shift away from chocolate again will help the inflammation in my tendons. My right arm is particularly bad at them moment and I am trying hard to limit the damage. Trouble is I do not want to stop training and the gardens at this time of the year need many hours of work. So I have to get inventive about the things I am doing.

Today's workout was an ab workout added to around three hours spent in the garden. No mean feat gardening around here. The wilderness has been beaten back a little today and weather permitting maybe some more this week. Back to training tomorrow night after a public holiday yesterday. Will have to make the class a good one to make up for the day off. Also will have to start thinking of some challenging exercises that do not involve arm work.

Chicken and salad again for dinner tonight. Food is fuel....food is fuel.... if I repeat it enough times I may just convince myself.

Beating Back the Beast - two weeks two days

Today was a win !! I did not eat chocolate! As a hardened chocoholic that is quite an accomplishment, I do however want to eat my own arm off!

Why is it so hard to forgo the creamy, brown delicacy that is chocolate. It disguises itself as the elixir of life. We find it irresistible. We give it as tokens of our love and gratitude yet it is an insidious monster. Looking all harmless and inviting it tempts us to taste it, calls to us with a voice only we can hear but once it passes our lips it's true identity is revealed and it feeds the Beast within  us.

So today was a win I did not partake of this temptress, the Pied Piper of the Beast. I did not let it pass my lips.

I have an admission to make for the first three and a half months of this year I did not let the temptress lure me but I stumbled to my demise around Easter time. You see Whittaker's makers of the finest chocolate this country produces pulled out all stops to bring me back into the fold. For the first time they made Easter eggs and not just any old Easter eggs, these tasty tempters were in the shape of a kiwi with it's egg. How could I resist. the Pied Piper had found my weakness, the thing I had always wanted most at Easter, chocolate in the egg form from the chocolate gods, the Whittaker's.

I bought one and hid it in my wardrobe. I would let it sit and wait for my birthday that was a few weeks later. Perhaps by then I would have forgotten it was there. FAT CHANCE! That bloody egg called to me every day to remind me it was there. The Pied Piper's flute was loud and insistent, come the 23rd of the month I flung open that door and ripped into the foil guarding my treasure from me. I scoffed that thing in seconds!

Since then I have managed a few days at most to resist the temptress. So today, a day without chocolate is a big thing. It is a day of strength when my body is not feeling so strong. But the biting of the Beast in the tendons of my arms fortified my resistance. The stab of pain in my hamstrings reminded me to turn away from the Piper. I didn't train today but I did a lot of yard work. I did not train today but it was still a win to me!

Today the beast goes hungry!

Chicken salad for dinner.